Swirling

A wise man (Eddie) once told me that we see what we want to see...I'd even take it a step further and say that we hear what we want to hear.  And with today's flood of posts and tweets it's easy to see how we've become obsessed with putting on a display.  After all, a glimpse into someone's reality might not go over as well. 

For example, I like to post happy pictures of me and the biologicals.  I like to tweet articles on ways to be a great teacher.  I use my Instagram for silly memes and pictures of my favorite beverages; the images and thoughts of happy times because ultimately that's what I'm trying to send out into the world...positive, uplifting vibes.  

But my reality can be a much darker place.  It can be filled with sorrow and angst, with a storm of thoughts swirling violently and the only way to silence the noise is to disconnect, to unplug, to tune out the world around me.  The challenge, of course, is delaying the storm or to find a place to safely let it pass.  Imagine dark, ominous clouds rolling in and knowing the wind, lightning and thunder is soon to follow and you must shelter yourself from it's fury.  All this, while loving students that need love, parenting the biologicals as both a mother and a father, sustaining my ties to family and friends, completing a second degree, and nurturing a beautiful relationship with an amazing human.  

"You make it look so easy Cynthia."  Well...it's not.  It's hard, it's tough, it can be agonizing, overwhelming and daunting but I know the view from the summit is going to be worth the climb.  The storm will pass and a new life will emerge...