It's not you, it’s me
Originally, this was going to be titled “It’s not me, it’s you” but after some reflection, I decided to spin it in the other direction. You see sometimes this line is used to let someone down easy so the fault lies on the one letting go, so in my case, I thought it would be funny to turn it around and put the blame where I believe it belonged. But really, there is no blame to place. No one person is at fault. Like the old saying goes, “It takes two to tango.”
Let me clarify something real quick before you stop reading and start texting me, I am not ending my current relationship. I am not on a break. I am still smitten as ever.
I am, however, letting go of something. I am letting go of the notion that other people will live up to my expectations. In fact, my expectations of others has only left me disappointed, deflated and defeated and it’s because everyone is doing the best they possibly can, which doesn’t always work in my favor and that is ok. However, I choose to work on being the best I possibly can. Sometimes I fail but I keep striving to be the best version of myself.
So I know it’s not you, it’s me. I am the one putting food on the table, I am the one taking care of the health and wellness of my children, I am the one who hustles to put a roof over their heads, who clothes them, who listens when they want to talk, the one who has to answer the tough questions. I am the one at drop off and pick up, at meetings, at practices, at performances, at the end of the line whenever they text or call. I am the one who answers when they call out for Mamas. I am the one who feels the brunt of their anger and sadness, their angst and disappointment. I am the one wiping their tears.
I am the one who gets to show them what a joyful, happy, healthy relationship looks like. I get to teach them when life knocks you down, you dust yourself off and keep going. That chasing your dreams is exactly what you should do and when people question it, you smile and go out and do it anyway. I get to see the excitement of new adventures, the trials and tribulations of high school that leads to triumphs and accomplishments. I get to see the smiles and the laughter. Before my eyes, these children are becoming young adults. They are the kind of people I want in my circle. They are tiny versions of me (uh-oh). I have no doubt should I vanish from this earth, they would have each other’s back and they would go on and do great things.
In the end, when it’s all said and done, I stand firm in my truth, knowing it’s not you, it’s me.
Let me clarify something real quick before you stop reading and start texting me, I am not ending my current relationship. I am not on a break. I am still smitten as ever.
I am, however, letting go of something. I am letting go of the notion that other people will live up to my expectations. In fact, my expectations of others has only left me disappointed, deflated and defeated and it’s because everyone is doing the best they possibly can, which doesn’t always work in my favor and that is ok. However, I choose to work on being the best I possibly can. Sometimes I fail but I keep striving to be the best version of myself.
So I know it’s not you, it’s me. I am the one putting food on the table, I am the one taking care of the health and wellness of my children, I am the one who hustles to put a roof over their heads, who clothes them, who listens when they want to talk, the one who has to answer the tough questions. I am the one at drop off and pick up, at meetings, at practices, at performances, at the end of the line whenever they text or call. I am the one who answers when they call out for Mamas. I am the one who feels the brunt of their anger and sadness, their angst and disappointment. I am the one wiping their tears.
I am the one who gets to show them what a joyful, happy, healthy relationship looks like. I get to teach them when life knocks you down, you dust yourself off and keep going. That chasing your dreams is exactly what you should do and when people question it, you smile and go out and do it anyway. I get to see the excitement of new adventures, the trials and tribulations of high school that leads to triumphs and accomplishments. I get to see the smiles and the laughter. Before my eyes, these children are becoming young adults. They are the kind of people I want in my circle. They are tiny versions of me (uh-oh). I have no doubt should I vanish from this earth, they would have each other’s back and they would go on and do great things.
In the end, when it’s all said and done, I stand firm in my truth, knowing it’s not you, it’s me.
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