Own Your Sh*t, Cynthia

So my dad calls me a firecracker.  He has also been known to say things like, "You know how she is." and "She moves all way to California and she's still fighting with people."  That was actually one of my favorites.   I like to think of it more like, "She calls it like she sees it."  It's been said that if you want the truth, ask Cynthia. 

Here's the thing...I have spent the last decade trying to own my shit.  So when I'm around someone who doesn't, it annoys me.  It frustrates me.  It also makes me a little sad.  Deep down in the sensitive part of my gut (those of you that endured the time I suffered from gastritis, pronounced in Spanish, of course, will remember I have a very sensitive gut) I feel bad for people living in denial.  

Looking through the lens of awareness is both a blessing and a curse.  I love that it allows me to be reflective.  You see, I stumble, we all do, and when I do, I stop and I ask myself, "que onda, Cynthia."  Why are you feeling this way?  What is driving this emotion?  What part of your trauma have you not dealt with?  Cause here's another thing...that shit doesn't go away until you dig it out from the root and get rid of it.  It grows back, just like a weed.  

How you deal with it is the difference.  Are you overeating?  Drinking too much?  Both?  Do you shop too much?  Are you allowing others to run all over you because you can't say no?  What self destructive behavior are you using as a coping mechanism?  

Going back to being around others who don't own their shit...It's too much sometimes.  It makes me want to retreat, go away, keep my distance.  It also makes me want to shake them to their senses, pop them on the forehead, slap them like Cher did to Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck.  I want to say, "Open your fu**ing eyes and deal with this bullshit, already!"

So if you find yourself coping, in whatever form it is, do yourself a favor and own your shit!