Back Home

Disclaimer:  My mind is all over the place today.  This blog will not flow well or even make sense to some of you and that's ok.  Read it.  Don't read it.  :)

I moved to California a little over three years ago.  I have had the chance to go back home a few times but this last trip, well, it just hit different, like today's youth says.

It was a quick visit, very busy and like the ones that came before, it was bittersweet.  I didn't get to see everyone I wanted.  I didn't get to bring back all the things on my list and I didn't get into any shenanigans and we all know how much I love shenanigans.

What I did get from my time back home was this wonderful sense of belonging, familiarity, absolute ease, like a warm blanket, soft and comforting.  I was able to see a few friends, shop at HEB (no store does more) and got in some quality time with my family, especially my dad.  That ol' Henry really came through.  It's like he knew what I had been missing, what my soul had been void of, why I had been feeling so restless.  I missed home.  I missed my people.

I hear that home is where the heart is and I suppose I would agree.  But can home be in two places?  Home and back home?  I love my life in California.  I especially love the weather; it's not too hot, it's not too cold, it's just right.  I love how my children are thriving and growing into some really great people.  My job is fine and I've got some really cool coworkers.  And then there's this man that I know, who is quite certainly, my perfect match.  And yet, I still miss home.

One of my therapists (This isn't a secret, right?) when I was toying with the idea of moving out west, said, "Go Cynthia.  Try it and see what becomes of it.  You will never know unless you do it.  If it works out, great.  If it doesn't, you can always come back home."

In this season of gratitude, I suppose my take away from this trip is that I have plenty to be thankful for.  I get to gallivant all over Southern California and every once in a while I get to prance around South Texas.  I have earned the right to talk smack about both because honestly, each come with their fair share of pendejadas (bullshit) and I get to brag about the perks because I'm 20 minutes away from one of the prettiest beaches in the country and I was born and raised in a state that's also it's own country.

For now, I will live it up, enjoy every moment I have, here and there, and will stay mindful of the fact that I can always go back home.


Comments

  1. LorrieNovember 26, 2019 at 11:13 AM

    I so understand your feelings. I share them. I love going home for my visit but I enjoy coming "home" to my men, where ever we happen to call home at the time.

    ReplyDelete

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