Single Mom of Two
So it's taken some time to truly embrace this title, but the reality is this, I am a single mother of two.
I have been since June 2013 and probably way before that, if we look at who managed the household. It's taken some soul searching to grasp the magnitude of my responsibilities and also it's taken it's tole. I check off the divorced box or the single box in all of my applications, questionnaires, surveys. I am entirely responsible for the welfare of these two. I am financially responsible for my future and everything that comes with that.
What I am reminded of, daily, is that the second half of that title includes two of the best (and sometimes worst) things to ever have happened in my life. Funny, most days I can't remember where I left my keys, or my phone, or fill in the blank with anything important but I can tell you, with very specific detail, the events that took place the day my children were born. I can describe those days with all five senses, the beeping of machines, the smell of medicine, the look of determination on the doctors' faces, the frigid hospital air and the warmth of my skin, the ice chips that I wished were soaked in Shiner Bock. There was this sixth sense also. The deep feeling in the center of my exhausted body that was urging me to be vigilant, to push a little harder, to listen a little closer for the first gasp of air my child would breathe, when life outside the safety of mama, would begin.
Fast forward to present day and I am more aware of my responsibility to these two children, the ones with the single mom. Carolyn witnessed it first hand at the dealership yesterday when the sales person saw a lone female with her cub. He got an up close and personal look of what happens in the animal world. Mama bear will come after you. And she will leave with the car she came in unless you make it right. (I got all day fool. #teacheronspringbreak) Thomas felt it last week when he walked off the track after running 300 meter varsity hurdles, for the first time, and among all the fathers and male coaches, was his biggest fan, the mom who waited with bated breath to hear his cry in the hospital.
This gig is hard, y'all. I silently whisper, "Be brave, Cynthia. Be vigilant, push a little harder, listen for that gasp of air you must take when life, outside the safety of your well thought out plan, begins."
I have been since June 2013 and probably way before that, if we look at who managed the household. It's taken some soul searching to grasp the magnitude of my responsibilities and also it's taken it's tole. I check off the divorced box or the single box in all of my applications, questionnaires, surveys. I am entirely responsible for the welfare of these two. I am financially responsible for my future and everything that comes with that.
What I am reminded of, daily, is that the second half of that title includes two of the best (and sometimes worst) things to ever have happened in my life. Funny, most days I can't remember where I left my keys, or my phone, or fill in the blank with anything important but I can tell you, with very specific detail, the events that took place the day my children were born. I can describe those days with all five senses, the beeping of machines, the smell of medicine, the look of determination on the doctors' faces, the frigid hospital air and the warmth of my skin, the ice chips that I wished were soaked in Shiner Bock. There was this sixth sense also. The deep feeling in the center of my exhausted body that was urging me to be vigilant, to push a little harder, to listen a little closer for the first gasp of air my child would breathe, when life outside the safety of mama, would begin.
Fast forward to present day and I am more aware of my responsibility to these two children, the ones with the single mom. Carolyn witnessed it first hand at the dealership yesterday when the sales person saw a lone female with her cub. He got an up close and personal look of what happens in the animal world. Mama bear will come after you. And she will leave with the car she came in unless you make it right. (I got all day fool. #teacheronspringbreak) Thomas felt it last week when he walked off the track after running 300 meter varsity hurdles, for the first time, and among all the fathers and male coaches, was his biggest fan, the mom who waited with bated breath to hear his cry in the hospital.
This gig is hard, y'all. I silently whisper, "Be brave, Cynthia. Be vigilant, push a little harder, listen for that gasp of air you must take when life, outside the safety of your well thought out plan, begins."
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