The Couch Chronicles...Continued

I have mentioned the need to go back to certain steps when you recognize that you need to check yourself.  Well, I literally heard a voice in my head that said, "You better check yourself!"  It wasn't a weird, "I'm hearing voices and they want me to hurt someone."  It happened as I reread a text message, pondered the situation, and realized what my father has been known to tell people about me is right..."She has a lot of pride."  Uh...hellooo Father...where the hell did that come from?  Did I not hear, "People don't take pride in their work, people don't take pride in their house or their neighborhood, you need to have pride in what you do" and blah, blah, blah.  Damn right I have a lot of pride.  You said I should!  But really, I don't blame my father for being prideful.  I thank him for instilling that value in all three of his girls.  Unfortunately, I don't think he realized how serious we would all take it.  Now, I ...

I was recently asked by a blast from the past, if I would ever consider pushing the envelope a little with my blog...let's say making it somewhat sultry, risque...a sort of secret diary, adult style.  I reminded my old pal that a good girl does not kiss and tell.  His rebuttal...ok, "good girl with bad girl tendencies."  (Did anyone else think "KISS Catch Phrase?" You 'member?  You 'member!) So I did what I normally do with a blog idea...I sit on it, I wait, I think about it, I let it marinate...This time I also chatted it up with my work son and expressed my concern for privacy.  I really don't kiss and tell with the exception of this one time...not at band camp...that I called my Bestie at a very indecent hour of the night to tell her...and she is taking it to the grave.  And it really was just a kiss so no need to get crazy and start thinking all sorts of nonsense. Now, back to the steamy stuff you have been waiting for...I'm sticking to m...

Years ago, during a professional development session on writing, I created a short list of the things that made me who I am.  To my surprise, I enjoyed creating this list and can still remember some of the things that were scribbled on the sheet.  A recent tragedy in my life shook me to my core and by core, I mean the very essence of my being, my soul, all I am.  When the quake was over and the dust settled, I began to collect the pieces that were scattered around me.  It was time to find out, without inhibitions or fear, who exactly I was.  Basically, it was time for me to show myself what exactly I was made of, what I was willing to accept as truth and what the hell was I going to do about it!  So here I am, ready to let you in on a lil' something... I'm the youngest of three girls and I recently discovered by way of my father that my birth was somewhat of a miracle. "I told your mother two kids was enough."  Uh...maybe he didn't realize he was...

Recently I shared an article with a fellow "triple F" friend of mine and by "triple F" I mean, Fabulous, Fierce and Forty!  Now there are a few other "f-words" that I might use to describe this "old" friend of mine but I shall save that for another blog.  Let's get back to the article I shared.  In a nutshell, the author made a list of the many things she could do at 40 that she wasn't able to do at 20.  The list was good, the article was funny and it inspired me to create a list of my own.  You see, something happened when I turned 40, besides polishing off three bottles of wine and hanging out with some of the coolest people on earth, my family and friends, I realized that 40 wasn't so bad.  In fact, 40 was pretty damn great.  So on Sunday, the 5th of January at 5:10 p.m., I turned forty-one!  I didn't have the usual birthday week shenanigans or birthday weekend celebration I have had in the past.  No, this year, the weekend...

So I don't know why I was dreading step four.  It's step five that's a son-of-a-motherless-goat!  It was pretty easy to admit I have some character flaws.  Really, who doesn't?  Admitting that there are some things I need to work on was not as bad as I thought it would be.  At my age, you pretty much know you are not invincible and may have a few rough edges to smooth.  The cool thing about being fortysomething is knowing you can handle constructive criticism AND you have enough sense to do something about it.   Step Five - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.   One of the "light bulb" moments I had in Al-Anon is being told that "we are only as sick as our secrets."  So I can list all the liabilities in step four, but in step five I take a much closer look and become aware of how much I 'deluded and justified' to myself.  And when it comes to justifying nonsense, I ...