Lake Girl

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A Letter to My Mom

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Mama, I started this letter in January 2021, when it started to sink in that this battle was bigger than all of us.  I remained hopeful but there was a deep sense of dread in my soul.  I needed to prepare myself for life without you.   In early October 2020, you shared news with me that I processed immediately as bad news.  I stayed calm and asked what you would like me to do next.  You said, "wait until I get the biopsy." We ended the call.  I fell apart.  I guess I knew then, or at least my mind did what it always does, prepare for the worst. It's not good that my brain is conditioned to do that but I would rather be prepared than blindsided.   In late November, the kids and I went for a visit.  We cleaned, we laughed, we rushed around frantically at your requests and we carried on with business as usual.  You were still you; funny, witty, fiery, but you tired easily.  You weren't running circles around me, and again, I ...
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Sweet Baby Jesus

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Well, it almost happened.  I almost let the devil himself get the best of me today!  It took one little thing, one tiny insignificant thing to trigger that primal urge to defend my truth.  I was about to take to my laptop and let it rip!  Put people on blast.  Shed light on all the " liars and  the dirty dirty cheats of the world."  I had to remind myself that love wins.   Yes, love does win, especially when that love is self love.  It hasn't been easy to come by.  I am definitely my harshest critic.  Self loathing comes easily, especially when society's "norms" can make you question what you know to be your truth.  There are so many double standards. I know a Tell All post would be very exciting and if I were a big time blogger with a huge following with plenty of ads and sponsors, I might go that route and bring in the big bucks.  But since I'm a baby blogger with a few dedicated followers and a few ...
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Happy Caliversary

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Five years ago, on this very day, a very worn out Honda Pilot pulled up to the Rosewood Tavern (the nickname of the house we live in) filled with the most precious and essential belongings.  The driver, a tired, single mom of two, the copilot, a strong, caring 8th grade boy and the backseat passenger, a courageous, 7th grade spitfire too much like her mama.   We arrived late that evening, unloaded as much as we could and settled in for the night as quickly as possible because the next day, I would begin "new" teacher orientation at a school district that had offered me a job just 10 days earlier.   We really did hit the ground running when we arrived and California came for us, hard.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  For the first few months, the punches kept coming and for a brief moment I thought I had made a terrible mistake.  I had left behind friends, family, a great job and my cat.  I had relocated this tight triad for a b...
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