"Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted."
As I reflect to the beginning of 2013 I'm reminded of my 40th birthday celebration. That was a memorable night. I was surrounded by a group of friends and family so special to me that I could have stayed in that moment forever. Turning 40 set something in motion...til this day I'm not sure how to explain it. It feels like a mission, a quest of some sort. I'm in search of something or better yet, someone.
You see, there was a girl I once knew. She was daring, a fighter, someone who welcomed a challenge and didn't let anyone get in the way of her dreams. She was one of the guys, everyone's girl (not to be confused with the girl that was with everyone). No, this girl didn't need to belong to anyone. She was comfortable in her own skin. She wanted more out of life than a husband, children and house with a white picket fence. The world is what she wanted.
Then she met a boy. Her dreams changed a little but still she knew what she wanted and was determined to go get it. As time went on, life threw her some curve balls. She fell a few times but managed to dust herself off and keep going. Two extraordinary blessings came her way and her dreams changed a little more but as usual, she kept those long term goals in mind.
Soon she discovered that she was living in her own world and when you swim upstream, against the current, without something to ground you along the way, the journey gets harder and longer. She knew she couldn't quit and go with the flow, that was suicide. How could she forgive herself for letting go of her dreams? What kind of example would that be for the two blessings God had given her?
It was time to reset, start over, take a long hard look at her life and figure out if cutting her loses and moving on would be the best thing to do.
The decision didn't come easy. She would have to muster all the strength she could to push past the negative, old habits that had kept her from living life to the fullest. Then tragedy struck and she lost someone so important, so dear to her, that life came to a complete halt. The pain and hurt were almost too much to bare. How could someone be here one day and gone the next? Why didn't she get to say goodbye? Did he know how much she loved him? She became angry. She felt empty. The hole in her soul was growing.
She knew what she had to do. Life was too short to live without love and happiness. She didn't need another person to fulfill her. She had it inside of her all along. It had been buried by doubt, fear and sadness. It was time. She was back and this time, she wouldn't let herself or anyone else stand in her way. The time had come to go and get it, the life she wanted was out there for the taking.
There was one thing she needed to regain and that was her faith. She needed to put her trust in God. He was the one in charge, the man with the plan. She would follow his lead.
Not soon after, God sent her on her way and once she saw the new faces He placed in her life, these new people that brought her joy and laughter, love and excitement, she knew everything was going to be just fine. Life would turn out to be more than she could ever imagine. He would bring her more blessings than she could count. Others would see God's light in her and be drawn into her life to help find their way too.
You see, there was a girl I once knew. She was daring, a fighter, someone who welcomed a challenge and didn't let anyone get in the way of her dreams. She was one of the guys, everyone's girl (not to be confused with the girl that was with everyone). No, this girl didn't need to belong to anyone. She was comfortable in her own skin. She wanted more out of life than a husband, children and house with a white picket fence. The world is what she wanted.
Then she met a boy. Her dreams changed a little but still she knew what she wanted and was determined to go get it. As time went on, life threw her some curve balls. She fell a few times but managed to dust herself off and keep going. Two extraordinary blessings came her way and her dreams changed a little more but as usual, she kept those long term goals in mind.
Soon she discovered that she was living in her own world and when you swim upstream, against the current, without something to ground you along the way, the journey gets harder and longer. She knew she couldn't quit and go with the flow, that was suicide. How could she forgive herself for letting go of her dreams? What kind of example would that be for the two blessings God had given her?
It was time to reset, start over, take a long hard look at her life and figure out if cutting her loses and moving on would be the best thing to do.
The decision didn't come easy. She would have to muster all the strength she could to push past the negative, old habits that had kept her from living life to the fullest. Then tragedy struck and she lost someone so important, so dear to her, that life came to a complete halt. The pain and hurt were almost too much to bare. How could someone be here one day and gone the next? Why didn't she get to say goodbye? Did he know how much she loved him? She became angry. She felt empty. The hole in her soul was growing.
She knew what she had to do. Life was too short to live without love and happiness. She didn't need another person to fulfill her. She had it inside of her all along. It had been buried by doubt, fear and sadness. It was time. She was back and this time, she wouldn't let herself or anyone else stand in her way. The time had come to go and get it, the life she wanted was out there for the taking.
There was one thing she needed to regain and that was her faith. She needed to put her trust in God. He was the one in charge, the man with the plan. She would follow his lead.
Not soon after, God sent her on her way and once she saw the new faces He placed in her life, these new people that brought her joy and laughter, love and excitement, she knew everything was going to be just fine. Life would turn out to be more than she could ever imagine. He would bring her more blessings than she could count. Others would see God's light in her and be drawn into her life to help find their way too.
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