The Couch Chronicles...Continued

This is my second round of working Step Four.  The first attempt was almost two years ago and it was written in a gratitude journal given to me by the one person who knows so much of what my life has been like living with an active alcoholic.  Thank you bestie, I love you! The great thing about this step is that it can be worked many times over.  It's like peeling back the layers of an onion to reach the very center.  Each time a layer is removed, there is a self discovery that takes place.  The first time, I was asked by my sponsor to list all the things I was incapable of doing.  I thought that was absurd!  I wasn't incapable of doing anything.  I had always been capable of accomplishing exactly what I set my mind to accomplish.  However, that's not what he meant.  What he wanted me to do was write down all the things I had a problem doing.  And that was a completely different type of request. So this step is sort of like an...

Usually, once or twice a week, I "feel" a blog coming on...sounds funny, but it really does happen.  The feeling can be triggered by a thought, a song, someone's words or simple action.  The last two weeks have been very hectic, emotional, stressful and as a result, I believe I have blogger's block.  Honestly, I think my thoughts are backlogged.  You see, I hit the road running with the first three steps in my Al-Anon recovery and I knew the next step, the 4th one, was going to be a son-of-a-motherless-goat!  And like most things I don't want to do, I pushed it aside in hopes it would go away.  That has never worked in the past, so why I continue to do it is so damn frustrating.  I believe that will be something I work out in my 4th step.  Though I have a few blogs on draft, I haven't had the inclination to finish them.  One is titled Ten Things I Hate About You and the other might be titled Turbo Lover.  Still playing with that on...

*All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  For the exception of my dad.   (So ladies, you may think I'm referring to your husband or boyfriend but I'm not and even if I were, you married him.  No need to worry about lil' ol' me...he's yours, remember?  I was invited to the wedding...I'm in the wedding video because you probably didn't think I would show up and have the nerve to get up and dance with him.  Oh yeah, the one dollar I paid for my cameo in your wedding video...so worth it!  I do want to send a shout out to my friend, P!  Thanks for so willingly offering your husband.  And yes, I know he doesn't think he's 'sloppy seconds' but I'm not one for leftovers and besides, he only has eyes for you and since I consider you my sistah, that would make him my brother-in-law, uh...that just made my stomach hurt!  Life would be great if other women were a...

*Decided I would post the words of others today to give everyone out there misinterpreting my words, some recovery time... I had waaay too much fun working on this blog...not happy my Lil Diva was sick, but being in cuddle mode most of the day with her made me realize there are so many other words I should share.  After all, "Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." -Victor Hugo  There are a few links, they may or may not work...I've listed a few artists and titles...Remember, this blog is really my way of letting it all go... Tracy Lawrence's "Alibi" http://youtu.be/eDVFti4tVBo Brooks and Dunn's "She Used to Be Mine" http://youtu.be/js6jqy1NtI8 Garth Brook’s “She’s Gonna Make It” http://youtu.be/0A4a4kxYO68 Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham's "Landslide" http://youtu.be/zZi6LJ6bY_c Clay Walker’s “She Won’t Be Lonely Long”  http://youtu.be/E3n9HtxzuBI Clay Walker’s “Wat...

So thirty years ago, today, you pushed your giant-hematoma head into this world via your mom's tiny body.  I couldn't wait to see you.  The picture that comes to mind from that time is you dressed up like a little Santa Claus.  I was so in love with you.  Funny, I felt the exact same surge of emotion and euphoria when your little cousin made his way into the world with his monster-sized noggin via my not-so tiny body. You brought us so much joy, the first boy in our immediate family.  Dad's eyes filled with pride with his first grandson.  I must admit I was a bit jealous, after all, I had been his baby for ten years.  The intense feelings of love only grew as I watched you grow.  Although I was an auntie, our closeness in age made us more like brother and sister.  I can't remember a time when you were not around.  Later, when I became a teenager and moved away for high school, we didn't see each other as often but the bond remaine...