The Couch Chronicles...Continued

We met in 1997.  I was fresh out of college, a brand new teacher.  We bonded one evening in her classroom when we found out we had more in common than we knew.  We were both the youngest, had two sisters, short dads who worked their butts off to provide for their families and so many more things, too many to list.   She has been by my side through thick and thin, happy and sad, joy and tragedy.  She has seen me laugh hysterically and she is one, of the very few, that has seen me break down and cry the ugly cry.  I love her more than I can describe.  For lack of better words, she is my other half, my missing piece and even though our lives have kept us busy and we don't get to spend as much time with each other, sometimes just hearing her voice, her "I know sweetie, I know" is all I need.   We've had the pleasure of working at two different schools together, on the same team and dangerously, in the same hall.  She has rushed into my class...

Well, it almost happened.  I almost let the devil himself get the best of me today!  It took one little thing, one tiny insignificant thing to trigger that primal urge to defend my truth.  I was about to take to my laptop and let it rip!  Put people on blast.  Shed light on all the " liars and  the dirty dirty cheats of the world."  I had to remind myself that love wins.   Yes, love does win, especially when that love is self love.  It hasn't been easy to come by.  I am definitely my harshest critic.  Self loathing comes easily, especially when society's "norms" can make you question what you know to be your truth.  There are so many double standards. I know a Tell All post would be very exciting and if I were a big time blogger with a huge following with plenty of ads and sponsors, I might go that route and bring in the big bucks.  But since I'm a baby blogger with a few dedicated followers and a few ...

"Just move!!" he said.  This came, of course, after a plethora of San Diego, California references via text and all social media.  If I didn't know better, I would have taken offense but we are evenly yoked and I bombard him with nonsense, so I took it with a grain of salt and turned it into material for my blog.   If it was possible, I'd already be there, in San Diego.  Enjoying the cool mornings.  Motivated to get out and get going.  Chilling on the back porch in the chilly evening air.  Soaking in all the things that make it my happy place. But I'm still here!  I'm in a pause, one that I am not going to question.  There is something keeping me here or maybe it's someone.  I'm not sure yet.  I'll know when God wants me to know.  For now, I'll use that sarcastic, stop talking about San Diego comment for the way it relates to my life, at present moment. Just move...when you don't want to get up and exercise but you are tr...

There is absolutely no reason why that phrase should make me laugh so much, but it does...In the right context and in certain situations, it just makes so much more sense then the over used quote, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."   It's no secret, life has been a little rough for me and the biologicals.  We've been through some ups and downs and in-betweens.  We have known sadness, sorrow and tragedy.   The boy and I just had a long talk about this the other day and as we reflected on the last three years, his conclusion was so profound, it was a such a mature thought.  He said, "I would not be the person I am today if we had not gone through such a difficult time."  Wow, who is this kid?  How did he become such a bad-ass?  Even the little one, my girl on fire, the feisty Mini-me, has grown into a decision maker, the ruler of her own space and completely capable of holding her own. (God bless the poor soul who falls in love with her...

So this all started with my kids and their love of social media...the memes that read When You, When You're or When You Don't. They have even created their own. They also verbally caption every day events like When yo mama cooks bad, When yo mama yells at you, When yo mama doesn't buy milk, When you look like a drug dealer, When you're divorced, When you tired of yo kids... Well, not to be out done by the biologicals, I have been working on my own list of When you..and in order for this to work without repeatedly typing When you...promise that you will say When you, before each statement.  That will make things less painful for all parties involved.   When you... -get hit on by your ex-husband's friends and they are married (don't worry ladies, that's not my thing) -have your arm, hand, ankle and earrings licked by a student all in the same week and once while you were being observed -want to tell your co-worker to stop talking but e...

Someone once said, "Oh, you're THAT mom..."  I claimed it.  "Yes, I'm that mom."  And although I don't feel the need to explain my parenting style to anyone, the comment did make me do some self reflecting (which is a helpful life tool, some people really need to learn to do this).   So to the person who made that comment, thank you, and in case you're curious about what makes me ThAt mom, here goes:   I am the mom that didn't want children because I was so career driven and wanted to be debt-free, buy a house and travel. The same mom that once I found out I was pregnant with #1, went into overdrive to learn all things mom related. The mom that knew #1 really needed #2 since I would be taking a break from my career to be a stay at home mom, after someone I love and admire said, "Why do people have kids, if they aren't going to be the ones raising them."  Having them both at home for those few short years are some of my favori...

Yeah I'm glad you have your life "together" and you're doing "better" and are making some "changes" that you wish I could see.  I'm happy for you... There are "some habits" I need to be broken of...hmmm?  Yeah, that's my cue to say, "See ya." And you can "take care" of me and my biologicals and treat me like I'm supposed to be treated...I'll pass.  Thanks.  I can take care of myself and my biologicals.     You're "gonna miss" me while you're taking care of your family obligations...Ok. No need to hang out in the bathroom to continue our private conversation...I was fine not having a conversation to begin with... You want to "meet for drinks" sometime...will your wife be joining us too? So nah dude, I'm good with where I'm at.  I don't need to be rescued.  I got this.  I don't want to hook up or hang out.   I'm F-I-N-E, fine.  for all the pa...